Take a letter, Maria
[2003-10-26 - 9:58 p.m.]

It seems stupid. What's my problem? What am I worried about? What's the worse that can happen if I go, as opposed to the worst that can happen if I stay.

Am I being selfish? I have to ask, because I used to think loving it here was enough, but it's all over now. Now that everything is gone. And I'm dead to most all of them. Can I be reborn and take my girls with me, or is my timing wrong?

Being friendless is easy to endure. This way I can suspect everyone without reservation, and be correct. Is it fair to expect my girls to adapt? What if they can't?

"So, take a letter Maria. Address it to my wife. Say I won't be coming home. I'm gonna start a new life"

I have been wanting to move for years. Even before we split, I remember talking about going south. So, no, I'm not running to some guy, some savior to solve my problems and take care of me. Not a fleshly man, anyway. But am I expecting God to be there, waiting for me with a place to live, and work, and a good school and neighborhood for the kids, when I can simply stay here and concentrate on building up my spirituality? Is that a reasonable expectation? Am I being frivolus? Did I spell that right?

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